The Voice of the Key Peninsula

Dan Clouse

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No Tale Too Tall for Telling
Did you hear that the Department of Transportation is planning to put a $3 toll on the Purdy Bridge? You hadn’t heard? Must be because it’s not true. Happy April Fool’s … more
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Words Fail, Almost
There just aren’t that many different ways to say, “I love you.” more
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Country Life
Before the invention of farming around 10,000 years ago, humans had to forage for food. It was a precarious, hand-to-mouth lifestyle, back then before Joe Biden or Keith Richards were even born. … more
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It’s somewhere between sausage, clam, and something else entirely.
Geoduck Farci: Giant Sautéed Clam Stuffed in Its Own Skin — No, Really
Every food you eat is located on a spectrum between the familiar and the unusual. Favorite foods should always be the same, especially at breakfast. Every morning, it’s gotta be Pop-Tarts, … more
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Bonfires of the Memories
Young whippersnappers can hardly believe their ears when I’m talking. It sounds like the History Channel when I trot out dinosaurs like “TV set,” “Beatles album,” … more
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Cartography Old and New
Emerson observed in one of his early essays that when we reflect on our lives, “behind us, as we go, all things assume pleasing forms, as clouds do far off.” more
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Metaphor: A Virgin Field Pregnant with Possibilities
Sure, you expect to laugh at lists of crazy Engrish menu mistranslations on social media, “Braised Dork with Bamboo Gunfires,” not to mention episodes of The Three Stooges. … more
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A KP garden refuge.
An Episode in Local Garden History from the Everlasting Age of Aquarius
Who said we have no sense of history around here? I mean, we love to retell the old stories of anarchists, contraception pioneers, free love, and —gasp — nude bathing in Home Colony … more
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Concentrated Wit, or the World in a Sentence
If, as the Bard informs, brevity is the soul of wit, what could be wittier than a one-liner? President Calvin Coolidge was a typically taciturn Vermonter. Not for “Silent Cal” the … more
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Make Your August Pesto For Life, Love and All Things Good
It’s August, and the blackberries are ripe. That pie in the oven is distracting you from the monthly newspaper. Gardens are ascending to the peak of their harvest season, and there are fresh … more
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Compound It!
Riddle me this: What do iceboxes, typewriters and videotapes have in common? Outdated technology, right? … more
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The Joy of Lists
I am not quite old enough to remember the assassination of Lincoln, but I do remember hearing Hank Snow’s 1962 hit “I’ve Been Everywhere, Man” on AM radio. If you are a youngster, that’s … more
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Two Greek Paradoxes
The Temptations’ Motown classics, “My Girl,” “Get Ready” and “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” were music highlights of my high school years. The songs … more
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Not Nothing
Not to be hypersensitive, but I can’t help but wince when someone says, “no offense, but …,” and then goes straight into an insult.Just as “not to bore you with the … more
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Procrastination, Pencils and Plumbago
The procrastinator’s spirit animal is the crow. Back in fourth century Armenia, as the story goes, a wicked crow looked up and wheedled a Roman centurion named Expeditus into putting off … more
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The Truth About ‘St. Patrick’s Day’ Corned Beef and Cabbage
When you think of Saint Patrick’s Day, you’re thinking shamrocks, right? Along with pinching, funny little green plastic hats, the beer in your cup and the Chicago River, both dyed green, … more
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Fear of Missing Out
Mark Zuckerberg was in first grade when a business school professor coined the expression “fear of missing out” 30 years ago. The researcher noticed how people struggle to choose when … more
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Moonshine Reflections
The night sky above the Key Peninsula isn’t always clear. We enjoy about 140 nights a year that are partly cloudy or better. The rest remind us that the KP isn’t West Texas and you … more
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De Gustibus for the Rest of Us
“There’s no accounting for taste” the saying goes. You could annoy someone with the Latin version, “de gustibus non disputandum est” (“In matters of taste, there … more
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Dirty Work at the Roundabout
One summer afternoon my friend Stony and I were leaning against an old boom log in the oyster shell gravel, squinting out at the water, when out of the blue he said, “When you’re at a … more
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