Dan Clouse

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I didn’t think the rocks were nails, but I could tell the hammer would crack them open. It wasn’t so much the wrong tool as the wrong job. more
Sometimes, though, saying nothing actually is the right thing. more
A telescope, coming rain, Esau’s mess of pottage, and a unicorn. Which one doesn’t belong? You were thinking unicorn, right? It’s imaginary. It has four legs. But wait! A Key … more
Children love memorizing. It’s delightful to watch a proud child singing the alphabet or counting numbers. Not to mention watching the parents and grandparents thrill at the … more
KP Reads: Rather than looking for what you think you’ll find, take the events in the story as they come. more
Did you hear that the Department of Transportation is planning to put a $3 toll on the Purdy Bridge? You hadn’t heard? Must be because it’s not true. Happy April Fool’s … more
There just aren’t that many different ways to say, “I love you.” more
Before the invention of farming around 10,000 years ago, humans had to forage for food. It was a precarious, hand-to-mouth lifestyle, back then before Joe Biden or Keith Richards were even born. … more
Every food you eat is located on a spectrum between the familiar and the unusual. Favorite foods should always be the same, especially at breakfast. Every morning, it’s gotta be Pop-Tarts, … more
Young whippersnappers can hardly believe their ears when I’m talking. It sounds like the History Channel when I trot out dinosaurs like “TV set,” “Beatles album,” … more
Emerson observed in one of his early essays that when we reflect on our lives, “behind us, as we go, all things assume pleasing forms, as clouds do far off.” more
Sure, you expect to laugh at lists of crazy Engrish menu mistranslations on social media, “Braised Dork with Bamboo Gunfires,” not to mention episodes of The Three Stooges. … more
Who said we have no sense of history around here? I mean, we love to retell the old stories of anarchists, contraception pioneers, free love, and —gasp — nude bathing in Home Colony … more
If, as the Bard informs, brevity is the soul of wit, what could be wittier than a one-liner? President Calvin Coolidge was a typically taciturn Vermonter. Not for “Silent Cal” the … more
It’s August, and the blackberries are ripe. That pie in the oven is distracting you from the monthly newspaper. Gardens are ascending to the peak of their harvest season, and there are fresh … more
Riddle me this: What do iceboxes, typewriters and videotapes have in common? Outdated technology, right? … more
I am not quite old enough to remember the assassination of Lincoln, but I do remember hearing Hank Snow’s 1962 hit “I’ve Been Everywhere, Man” on AM radio. If you are a youngster, that’s … more
The Temptations’ Motown classics, “My Girl,” “Get Ready” and “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” were music highlights of my high school years. The songs … more
Not to be hypersensitive, but I can’t help but wince when someone says, “no offense, but …,” and then goes straight into an insult.Just as “not to bore you with the … more
The procrastinator’s spirit animal is the crow. Back in fourth century Armenia, as the story goes, a wicked crow looked up and wheedled a Roman centurion named Expeditus into putting off … more
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