Fill the Cup

Some people have a natural ability to make you feel better about yourself and the world around you. They have the ability to “fill your cup” when you talk to them. In a world of rapidly eroding civility and optimism, these people are increasingly rare, valued, and deserve recognition.

I spend quite a bit of time on the trails in our local parks. As I was finishing up a ride a few years ago, I slowed to ride alongside a woman who was leaving the trails, too. Despite being sweaty, hot, and fatigued, she greeted me with a beaming smile. We talked about how nice the day was and how we enjoyed our trail time. In her seventies and not appearing to be particularly athletic, I was impressed when she said she was training for a long run.

A week or two later, I went by her again. It was a bit of a blind corner. She had stepped off the single-track trail as the group of students I was riding with went by her. She was tucked into a space between trees and bushes. I barely even saw her, but felt badly we had disturbed her trail experience.

The next time I saw her, I stopped to apologize. That started a much longer conversation about bikes and walkers and introduced us to each other. Let’s call her “Sally.”

Sally said she wasn’t bothered at all, and how wonderful it was to see the kids outside using the trails. She said she welcomed the opportunity to take a brief rest during her workout. She said she didn’t have any negative encounters and really liked seeing other people enjoying themselves.

As a person who used the trails often, she had several stories of interacting with others there. During one of her training runs, she said she stopped to sit on one of the cement toadstools along the trail to retie her shoelaces. A young boy came over to ask if she was OK or if she needed any help. She said she must have looked like a mid-run mess, red-faced and sweaty. She just laughed, reassured the boy she was OK, and talked to him until his parents caught up to him. She then told the parents the story of their son’s concern for her, praising him for being such a Good Samaritan. Her face lit up a bit when she said the parents looked at each other in disbelief and said, “Him?” She went back to her run. Those parents undoubtedly left the encounter beaming with pride for their young son’s interaction with Sally. Their cups were filled.

Sally once started a conversation with an out-of-state stranger. Before they concluded, Sally ended up inviting her to come to Lakebay and stay with her for a vacation. The woman accepted and followed through. She and her fiancé have stayed at Sally’s house a few times now. Sally’s acceptance and trust of a relative stranger have enhanced the young couple’s lives and brought additional richness of friendship and experience to Sally’s world.

Another thing I learned is that Sally has terminal cancer. When confronted with the diagnosis, she asked herself how she was going to react. Her conclusion: I’ve never really been a runner, but I’d like to try. She targeted an organized run, bought some cheap shoes, and started training. As expected, she’s had some challenges, but she’s worn out multiple pairs of shoes and keeps hitting the trails.

Faced with small impositions like bikers on the trail she’s using, or large setbacks like a cancer diagnosis, Sally has taken them with uncommon grace. She’s continued to buoy others when it would have been easy and even natural to drag them down.

Whether Sally enters and completes her run isn’t critical. She’s already been successful. She’s been filling cups every time she bumps into others. I know I’m grateful for the times I’ve seen her, and look forward to the next time.

Mark Michel is a retired commercial airline pilot and a Key Pen Parks commissioner. He lives in Lakebay.