Do you know how many young people we lost on the Key Peninsula and in Gig Harbor to suicide in the last academic year?
Four.
Young adults. High school students. A middle schooler. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death among children and young adults in the United States.
I know that because I’m a first responder with the KP Fire District. It’s also my job to try to stop it through my work with the Gig Harbor-Key Peninsula Suicide Coalition.
Every day on the Key Peninsula, we wave to our neighbors, volunteer with them, cheer for our children at school events, and gather at community celebrations. We pride ourselves on being a close-knit community that looks out for each other. Yet even in communities like ours, people struggle. Often, those struggles remain hidden behind a smile, a busy schedule, or the simple words, “I’m fine.”
Suicide does not discriminate. It affects people of every age, profession, income level, and background. It touches students, parents, first responders, veterans, business owners, retirees, and friends.
Suicide is also preventable.
Being heard can become the first step toward hope.
Some of the most important lessons I have learned about suicide prevention have not come from textbooks or training, but from working alongside students in our school district. Young people have perspectives and experiences that deserve our respect. They navigate social pressures, family challenges, academic expectations, online influences, and a rapidly changing world in ways that many adults did not experience growing up.
I hear something far too often from students. They tell me that when they want to talk about suicide, grief, loss, or overwhelming emotions, they sometimes feel dismissed or redirected. They worry about making adults uncomfortable. They fear being judged, misunderstood, or told to “move on.” When young people believe these conversations are unwelcome, we unintentionally reinforce the very stigma we are trying to eliminate.
Silence allows for misinformation, bullying, and shame.
As adults, we must recognize that our role is not simply to teach children; it is also to learn from them. Their experiences are real. Their emotions are valid. Their grief deserves acknowledgment, and their questions deserve honest conversations. Listening does not mean we have answers. Listening tells someone they matter.
One of the most powerful tools we have is something every one of us can offer: connection. People considering suicide do not always say directly that they want to die. More often, they communicate their pain in subtle ways. Knowing what to watch for can help us recognize when someone needs support.
Warning signs may include:
Not everyone shows the same signs, and not every sign means someone is suicidal. What matters is noticing changes and choosing to check in rather than assuming someone else will. Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can do is say, “I’ve noticed you don’t seem like yourself lately. How are you really doing?”
There is a myth that talking about suicide somehow plants the idea in someone’s mind. Research has shown that this is not true. In fact, asking directly and compassionately about suicide can reduce isolation and help someone feel seen. It opens the door to getting help.
These conversations are uncomfortable, and they should be.
Talking about someone’s deepest pain is not supposed to feel easy. But discomfort is less dangerous than silence. Many adults worry they will say the wrong thing. They fear making the situation worse or not knowing what to do if someone answers honestly.
The truth is that you don’t need to be perfect. You just need to listen without judgment.
If someone tells you they are struggling, resist the urge to immediately solve the problem or explain why things will get better. Instead, stay present. Listen. Thank them for trusting you. Let them know they are not alone, and help connect them with professional support.
Suicide prevention cannot be separated from conversations about grief. Many members of our community have experienced profound losses. We have lost parents, spouses, children, classmates, coworkers, and close friends. Some of us grieve the loss of relationships, health, financial security, or dreams that have changed unexpectedly.
Grief does not follow a schedule. It does not disappear after a funeral or after a few months have passed. It changes people. Children especially experience grief differently from adults. They may revisit their loss repeatedly as they mature and understand it in new ways. What seems like healing one year may feel entirely different the next. Rather than avoiding discussions of grief because they are painful, we should create spaces where people can remember, share, cry, laugh, and heal together. Grief shared becomes lighter. Grief ignored often becomes heavier.
Three words can change the direction of someone’s life.
“I see you.”
Mental illness is not weakness. Seeking counseling is not a failure. Taking medication is not giving up. Offering help is an act of courage. So is asking for it.
If someone says they are struggling, believe them. Stay with them. Listen. Help connect them with support. Your willingness to have an uncomfortable conversation may become one of the most important moments in that person’s life. The Key Peninsula has always been a community that comes together during storms, fires, emergencies, and times of crisis. Let us bring that same spirit to mental health. Let us become known as a place where people are seen, where difficult conversations are welcomed, and where no one has to carry their pain alone.
Anne Nesbit is the public information officer and volunteer battalion chief for the Key Peninsula Fire Department. She lives in Lakebay.
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