The Epsteins Share One Last Season on the Seahawks Sidelines

For most of his football career, Asher Epstein wore No. 43, the same number his father wore during his playing days. Entering his senior season for the Peninsula Seahawks, he switched to No. 4.

Head Coach Clay Mauro noticed. He asked Joel Epstein, his defensive coordinator, how it felt to see his son abandon the shared number.

“His senior year, his choice,” Joel said. “I think No. 4 looks good on him.”

For Mauro, the moment captured what he had watched unfold over two years: Asher growing increasingly independent while his father learned to appreciate it.

“It’s been really cool to see Asher grow into his own and to see Joel have that moment of accepting Asher growing up,” Mauro said.

The Epsteins are running out of Friday nights on the field together. Joel has coached Seahawk defense since 2000, long before Asher was born. Now he is calling plays for a son who has become one of the team’s most disruptive defenders. Asher, a 6-foot-4, 230-pound senior and all-Puget Sound League defensive end, had 57 combined tackles through seven games, including eight for loss, 3.5 sacks, nine quarterback hurries and three blocked kicks.

He learned the game from the man on the sideline, though not the way most kids do. There wasn’t much tossing the football around the backyard. Catching passes took a back seat to hitting blocking bags, practicing hand techniques, and learning how to tackle. 

“I wasn’t as concerned with him being able to throw the ball,” Joel said.

When Asher decided in fifth grade that he wanted to play because his friends were joining, Joel was happy to support him.

“I never told him to play defense. I never told him to play football,” he said.

Asher took to defense early, but Joel said it wasn’t until the past two seasons that he developed the relentless mentality he wanted to see.

“I was just waiting for him to flip the switch,” he said. Before games, he would remind Asher to “be a game wrecker.”

For Asher, that means pursuing the ball wherever it goes, even when the play develops away from him.

“You’ve got to have a mindset where no one can stop you,” Asher said. “You’re just gonna rip stuff up and totally tear through everyone and do what you want.”

That approach has Peninsula 5-2 overall and 4-0 in the Puget Sound League Nisqually Division. The Seahawks hosted the Lakes High School Lancers in the regular-season finale to determine the division title Oct. 23. The Lancers beat the Seahawks 21-18.

“This has been my favorite year to this point,” said Joel, who also teaches math at Peninsula. “Obviously, being with my son, but also with a group of guys that has stuck together throughout the years.”

The biggest win so far came Sept. 19, when Peninsula beat rival Gig Harbor 37-8 in the annual Fish Bowl. The defense held the Tides to 116 yards of total offense, reclaimed the trophy and evened the all-time series at 24 wins apiece. It was the first Fish Bowl victory for Joel and Asher together.

It meant something extra to Joel, a Peninsula graduate who played linebacker at the University of Puget Sound. He began coaching for the Tides in 1995 before then-Seahawks head coach Ross Filkins recruited him to Peninsula in 2000. Filkins, who led the program through 2024 and is now the school’s athletic director, watched Joel set high standards for his defenders over the next 27 seasons. He also watched Asher grow up around the program.

“We’re so proud of Asher because he’s just grown beyond his playing ability,” Filkins said. “He’s become a leader for us and our entire team.”

Mauro said coaches who work with their own children sometimes struggle to find a balance, either showing favoritism or being overly demanding to avoid the appearance of special treatment. Neither seems to be an issue with the Epsteins.

“Joel is an amazing dad,” Mauro said about Joel, whose daughter Julia graduated from Peninsula in 2025. “He also doesn’t sugarcoat many things, which is what we love about him.”

While teammates hear the defensive coordinator barking instructions, Mauro said Asher provides “a steady reminder of the more fun side of Joel.”

Asher has his own way of describing the different sides of his father.

“I feel like he has three personalities,” he said. “He’s got the teacher personality, the coach personality, and the dad-at-home personality.”

Asher said his father generally leaves coaching at the stadium, but the line isn’t always clear. On the field, Asher calls him Coach, something Joel admits still feels a little strange. After Asher blocked an extra-point attempt in Peninsula’s Oct. 9 win against North Thurston, Joel admitted he congratulated Asher more like a dad than a coach, and sometimes that excitement is hard to contain.

“Coaching my son has been amazing,” Joel said. “I’m so proud of the fantastic things that he has been doing on the field right before my eyes.”

Asher is already mapping out what comes next. He is weighing college football offers from schools like George Fox University and Lewis & Clark College and plans to study education. He wants to be a teacher, like his dad, but history instead of math.

Like most high school seniors, Asher’s family time competes with school, friends, and a girlfriend, and the older Epstein is starting to reflect on their time together on and off the field.

“As he’s gotten older, we haven’t hung out as much as we probably should have,” Joel said.

For now, they still have some fall football together, and both are hoping to hang out together deep into the 3A state playoff, with Asher wearing No. 4 and his father calling the defense from the sidelines. And while Joel may be Coach during those games, Asher can still hear his dad come through.

“There are times during the game when a little bit of Dad comes out,” Asher said. “I can tell he’s proud of me, and I can feel that.”